From Childhood to Career | Understanding How Trauma Shapes Our Workplace Presence
Like any lived experience, our backgrounds profoundly impact how we show up in the world. In this blog, I want to focus on how trauma affects our presence in the workplace. Growing up in foster care where one is constantly the “new person” or frequently moved can significantly shape our attachment styles, influencing our interactions and behaviors in professional settings. Let’s explore the different attachment styles:
Attachment Style
Childhood
Adulthood
Secure / Free Autonomous
You tended to feel comfortable with closeness and often shared toys and feelings.
Comfortable collaborating; balances independence with teamwork.
Avoidant / Dismissing
You might have preferred playing alone and may have avoided sharing or getting too close.
You often prefer working alone and can find teamwork challenging or feel distant.
Anxious-Ambivalent / Entangled
You may have craved friendships but sometimes worried about abandonment, seeking reassurance.
You often seek reassurance from colleagues and can be more sensitive to criticism.
Disorganized / Unresolved
You might have felt confused in relationships and were unsure about expressing feelings.
You could experience confusion in workplace relationships and have difficulty managing stress.
If you identify with the second, third, or fourth attachment styles, don’t worry! Recognizing these patterns can help you better understand yourself and improve your relationships both at work and in life. New relationships, including work relationships, are opportunities for healing and learning. It’s believed that if you’re in an environment that triggers you, you should consider avoiding it. However, I like to think that everyone is a mirror for our growth, and sometimes those mirrors reveal not only the things we don’t want to see about ourselves but also the great qualities we may overlook.
If your work environment is toxic, take appropriate action that’s best for you. Your wellness matters, do whatever you need to do to prioritize it. Healing is always possible, provided there’s a willingness to change and access to the right services and resources.
Tips for Responding to Issues or Conflicts at Work
- Stay Calm: It’s hard to think clearly when emotions run high. Maintaining your composure is crucial for effective decision-making. Sometimes, things aren’t as bad as they seem, and a calm mindset can provide a fresh perspective.
- Recognize Your Needs: Emotions can signal what we need. If you’re unsure about what you need, that’s okay; the first step is recognizing that there is a need. Consider talking to someone you trust to help navigate your feelings or experience. Once you identify your needs, you can take proactive steps toward a solution.
- Don’t Quit: Remember how far you’ve come, even if you’re not where you want to be yet. Acknowledge your progress; you are valuable, and your contributions matter in the workplace.
- Stay Positive: Tap into your resilience. Remember that challenges are part of your journey and can be opportunities for growth. Embrace them as a way to become a better version of yourself.
If you’re curious about your attachment style, you can take the free quiz here.
LilCrystal Dernier
